I'm going to need someone to give me a niece.

I've seen this gorgeous blanket all over the internet lately (see here) and could resist no longer.

If someone could see fit to make a baby girl to whom I could gift it, that'd be swell.



Instructions
Video tutorial of instructions

Not bad for a Tuesday morning.

Apparently, we missed a few steps in the parenting manual.  While our kids are fairly confident in making things like crescent rolls and French creme puffs and bread in the breadmaker and mashed potatoes, it came to our attention a few weeks ago that they had no idea how to make toast.

Toast.

Toast.

So I explained how the toaster oven worked and let each big kid make a slice or two.  Since then, there's no end to their excitement.

This morning the big kids decided to make themselves some toast for breakfast.  There was much negotiating over who got to do which steps.

For example:
Child 1: "Well, you opened the door, and I put in the bread, but you turned the knob, so I get to open the door after it dings.  And then we'll each take out our own bread.  But you get to pull out the shelf and I get to close the door afterward."

Child 2: "But that's not far!  You closed the door after you put in the bread!  I want to close the door when we're done!"

Right then.

As soon as they finished their toasting, August walked in and requested toast as well.  I tossed a slice in and walked away while he stood in rapt attention.

Katie: "Are you watching your toast?  I understand.  It's really exciting watching your toast."
Jorge: "Very exciting.  Maybe not quite as exciting as, say, whale watching, though."
Katie: "No, but it's not bad for a Tuesday morning."
Jorge: "Definitely."

Dearest Katie, on your First Communion

My Princess,

Today you made your First Holy Communion.  Through a slip of bad timing and weak resolve, I somehow volunteered myself to teach your First Communion preparation classes over the past 6 Saturday mornings. While I've missed my morning off, I know you have been learning a lot, practicing your genuflecting and blessings, and anxiously awaiting this day.

In class, we talked about the Eucharist as a series of meanings.  Firstly, we talked about belonging.  We belong to our families; we belong to our clubs or teams or choirs or bands; and we belong to our Church.  Belonging is a tricky thing, because it's as much about our choice to be a part of that group as it is a statement about what we owe to that group.  Belonging is a commitment.

You belong to your brothers; they belong to you.

We belong to our family.  The wacky household of Awful Waffle eaters and the wider net of cousins, aunts, uncles, grandmas, and grandpas.

And when we belong, we celebrate together.  We join forces and face life--for better or worse--together.  We talked in our classes about celebrating as a family, as a team, and as a church.  How we need those people around us to connect us to our greater purposes.

And we talked about how the Eucharist is about listening.  How God calls us to listen to His words and share our words back through prayer.  We talked about the importance of staying quiet and listening to our hearts when situations are not obvious--and sometimes even when they are.

Listening can be so hard.  We have our ideas of what is happening and what that means and we want to just do.  But doing without truly listening is a good way to make a bad situation worse.  "Measure twice, cut once", as they say in carpentry.

Listening is learning.  Listening is preparing.   We listen in order to learn about our history--be that in family stories, church readings, or school--and we listen to learn about our calling.

"We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak" --Epictetus

With her banner, the deacon, and Father.

And we talked about how the Eucharist is about caring--both in terms of the prayers we say in church for the sick or sad or hurting as well as in acts of love and kindness we do for others.  And in receiving God's body and blood we are becoming God's hands and feet--called to serve those that need our hands, muscles, voices, and kindness.  And, baby girl, there's no end in sight for the number of ways we can do God's caring work.

And we discussed that the Eucharist is about making Peace.  Again, both in church when we make peace with God, with our neighbors, and with ourselves as well as in the real world.  There's a lot to be done here, too.  So much peace to be made.






In the last few weeks we discussed the Eucharist as a way of giving thanks for all of God's creation and particularly for new life.  For the many other humans we love as well as the richness of life around us that we love, too.  Caring for the Earth, appreciating the beauty of the stars and the wonders of nature.  We celebrate these things together.  Because we belong together.  And when you belong together--not just to your family or your church but to the community and the world and nature, too--you care.  You make peace.  You give thanks.  Because that's what it is to belong.

And so we share a meal as a family, a church, and a community.   We share a meal, and remind ourselves that we care and make peace and celebrate all parts of this life.  And then we take those hands and voices and hearts of God and try to make the world a brighter, stronger, happier place.

Welcome to the table, Katie.  I'm so proud of you.

---

We had a small party for you after mass with the local family. You modeled with your doll, Gianna, who you had taken great pride in making look just like you.  I have no idea where you get that urge.  Ahem.

We had a lamb-shaped cake, which is tradition in my family.  Everyone else thinks I'm crazy, but thanks for humoring me.  (They may think I'm crazy, but they all ate it.)

Perhaps one of the sweetest moments of the weekend was between you and Jorge.  The two of you can't seem to decide if you're bound at the hip and best friends for life, or merely tolerating the other's existence.  This weekend, thankfully, you mostly chose friendship.

Jorge made you a gift with a lot of love and thought.  He stamped out designs from blue paper--your favorite color--and glued them to a piece of paper.  He added some colorful crystals and a strand of pearls across the top.  (Pearls, of course, are your birthstone and gem-of-choice.)  Then we wrote in his somewhat wobbly Kindergarten handwriting:

"First Communion     Love Jorge   To Katie"


A post it note in a tiny envelope said

"Katie  I am happy that you are having First communion.  love Jorge."

You opened it and gushed in sincere awe.  You held it up in celebration.  You called Jorge over to have a picture next to you (Jorge with his cherry-drink red lips here!) and you set it carefully aside until it can be framed and added to your wall.

Reading your new Bible

You belong to us.  We belong to you.  I'm so proud of you for making that leap to belong to the church in a new and more significant way.  I love you, Miss May.




Love, Mom

Sickies.

We've had a virus in the house that took out Katie Thursday - Monday of last weekend, me Saturday through Tuesday, and August Tuesday through Friday.  Jorge had a mild version of it in the middle of that. Rob has managed to say above water.

The pattern is one day of groggy and disoriented; one day of total exhaustion, high fevers, dizziness, and vomiting; then another 2 days of groggy and fever spikes; and then just a few days of feeling completely exhausted coupled with a hacking cough.

 

So Rob is doing all the work.  The rest of us are mostly just napping every chance we get on whatever surface fits.

So much for running a daycare...

A friend's friend shared this link to help our mutual friend (I have so many friends today..) find a good daycare.  I thought I'd share the assessment of our children's primary residence and caregivers for reference.  Please know that I'm not really mocking this list as important ideals for a professional caregiver, just having a little fun at my own "bad mom" expense.

Supervision 
Are children supervised at all times, even when they are sleeping? 
No.  If the kids are sleeping you can be quite certain no one is supervising them.  That would impede on the precious time for ignoring housework and checking email.
How do the caregivers discipline children? (Hint: Discipline should be positive, clear, consistent, and fair.)
This largely depends on how many times someone else in the house totally unrelated to the current moment, child, or incident has annoyed the caregiver today.  It will almost surely not be consistent and everyone will deem it unfair.

Handwashing and Diapering
Do all caregivers and children wash their hands often, especially before eating and after using the bathroom or changing diapers? 
The caregivers wash their hands so da** often they are cracked and bleeding, but let's just be real.  Sometimes we're still eating while changing the diapers and if I stopped to wash my hands before every bite of food I manage to sneak I'd never get one.  Like Pavlov's dogs, the kids would learn that running water means there's food available and they'd mob me every time I'm just trying to sneak a few tortilla chips.
Is the place where diapers are changed clean? 
Right now?  Sure.  Probably.  I mean, there are no smears on the walls (although the mirror is covered in hand prints and face smears...) and if something gets on the changing pad blanket thing it gets tossed in the wash and replaced, but there's also a basket of laundry, a garbage can, and the occasional dirty tissue laying around so judge as you see fit.
Do caregivers always keep a hand on the child while diapering?
No.  Caregivers are trying to cram the last bit of granola bar in their mouth using their elbow while extracting locks of hair from the hand of babies and shaking open the clean diaper.
Do caregivers remove the soiled diaper without dirtying any surface not already in contact with stool or urine? 
Usually.  But, kids are twisty little things and can find a way to shove a foot in the worst diaper of the month or kick over the nasty diaper while you're getting the tabs of the new one just so.
Do caregivers clean and sanitize the surface after finishing the changing process? (Hands should be scrubbed with soap and warm running water for at least 20 seconds and then rinsed and dried. The water faucet should be turned off with a paper towel.) 
No.  Just no.

Director Qualifications 
Does the director of a child care center have a bachelor's degree in a child-related field? 
No.
Has the director worked in child care for at least two years? 
Yes!  Although at the beginning, no.
Does the director understand what children need to grow and learn? 
Healthy food, as little tv (even "educational tv") as possible, sunshine, dirt, and absolute support from their caregivers.

Lead Teacher Qualifications 
Does the lead teacher in a child care center have a bachelor's degree in a child-related field?
No
Has the teacher worked in child care for at least one year? 
Yes!  Again, though, not at the beginning.
Does the teacher give children lessons and toys that are right for their ages? 
I think so, but others may disagree.  But then, my kids aren't defined by their ages, only their interests and actual abilities.  So my 6 year old cooks on the stovetop and in the oven and uses real knives and my 7 year old has her own full-scale sewing machine.  The two year old does puzzles for 4 year olds.  And yet, none of them know how to do a single thing on a touch-screen device.  We're failing at the age-appropriate thing, but nailing the interest-and-ability-appropriate thing.

Child:Staff Ratio and Group Size 
How many children are being cared for in the child care program? 
Too many.
How many caregivers are there? (Your child will get more attention if each caregiver has fewer children to care for. The younger the children are, the more caregivers there should be. For example, one family home caregiver should only take care of two infants.) 
Not enough, where enough = N+1 and N= Number of people willing to watch the kids; and the +1 is me.   Also, only two infants?  So, triplets are ruled out?

Immunizations
Is your child up-to-date on all of the required immunizations? 
Yes!  We're so good at this one.
Does the child care program have records proving that the other children in care are up-to-date on all their required immunizations?
Yes!  And they're neatly photocopied, hole punched, and stored in a three ring binder under "medical information" because I am NAILING this section.

Toxic Substances 
Are toxic substances like cleaning supplies and pest killers kept away from children?
Yes.  3 for 3 here.
Has the building been checked for dangerous substances like radon, lead and asbestos? 
There goes that streak.  I want to say we did, but then we found out we had lead paint on, oh, the WHOLE HOUSE, so no?
Is poison control information posted?
No.  Well, maybe.  I think there's an informative magnet on the fridge underneath the expired coupons and pictures of our nephew.

 Emergency Plan
Does the child care program have an emergency plan if a child is injured, sick, or lost?
Does freaking out and running through the streets yelling their name count as a plan?
Does the child care program have first-aid kits?
Yes.  They are mostly empty because the children find bandaids to be an irresistible substitute to tape, but the kits are present in the house.
Does the child care program have information about who to contact in an emergency?
Yes: Grandma.

Fire/Emergency Drills
Does the child care program have a plan in case of a disaster like a fire, tornado, flood, blizzard, or earthquake? 
The program director lays awake at night and imagines these thing in painful, vivid, heart-stopping detail.  As for plans, it depends on how many of these disasters are imagined at the same moment.  The furniture will get thrown out of the burning house into the flood waters and then the children tossed onto the floating air mattress and covered in as many blankets as we can find until the blizzard passes.  The earthquake should provide enough waves to push us to safety, provided the tornado does not re-route us.
Does the child care program do practice drills once every month?
No.  We barely remember to do baths once every month.

Child Abuse
Can caregivers be seen by others at all times, so a child is never alone with one caregiver? 
See our motto: "The fewer adults in the room, the better"
Have all caregivers undergone background check? 
Yes.  Thanks to the adoption paperwork, I can give this one a solid YES.
Have the caregivers been trained on how to prevent child abuse, how to recognize signs of child abuse, and how to report suspected child abuse? 
There's not much funny to say about child abuse, so moving on...

Medications
Does the child care program keep medication out of reach from children?
They did, but the children learned to climb.  They moved them again, but the children learned to climb even more.  Locks are merely fun puzzles.  Medication is now left in the box with the toys which are bypassed as utterly dull things in favor of whatever is hidden in the cabinets.
Are the caregivers trained and the medications labeled to make sure the right child gets the right amount of the right medication at the right time? 
There are strategically placed post-it notes in every relevant cabinet.  That handles right child and right amount; timing is mostly left up to fate.

Staff Training/First Aid
Have caregivers been trained how to keep children healthy and safe from injury and illness? 
No, the GOD training has not worked out well.  If someone has this manual, please send it to me immediately.
Do they know how to do first aid and rescue breathing? 
Like all parents, they are confident they will figure it out in the crisis moment because life has taught us nothing, apparently.
Have they been trained to understand and meet the needs of children of different ages? 
They figure it out day by day.
Are all child care staff, volunteers, and substitutes trained on and implementing infant back sleeping and safe sleep policies to reduce the risk of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, crib death)? (When infants are sleeping, are they on their backs with no pillows, quilts, stuffed toys, or other soft bedding in the crib with them?) 
Training: Check.  Implementing: well, we're not currently housing any infants so sure.  In reality, infant sleep  tends to involve a baby sleeping on a caregiver dozing or reading in a rumpled mess of pillows and quilts and stray stuffed animals generously shared by older children.  When placed in a separate crib (that one time), it was back-sleeping compliant.

Playgrounds 
Is the playground regularly inspected for safety? 
At least twice a summer the adults decide to attempt to use the monkey bars and swing and then intensely regret that idea.
Is the playground surrounded by a fence? 
Yes!  Yes it is!
If there is a sandbox, is it clean? 
Define "clean". It's a sandbox.  Outside.  It has a liner and a cover, but it is also infested with mulch-covered children 25 times a day who find it fun to bury pine cones and twigs as treasure.
Are the soil and playground surfaces checked often for dangerous substances and hazards? 
Ok, alright, I see what you're getting at here.  Yes, ok, fine, there's dog poop in the yard.  Are you happy now?
Is equipment the right size and type for the age of children who use it?
Have you ever seen a two year old not go directly for the 9-12 year old playset?  It seems just right according to them.

That mom

We're still (still....) trying to get August potty trained.  In desperation, I promised him that if he stayed clean and dry we could go to a local bounce house and naturally that moment came at the nearly most inconvenient time possible: Sunday morning.  Thankfully it was open so we packed up.

At the same time, Katie and Jorge had been asked to do a rather time-consuming laundry task. Katie saw it through but Jorge acted like a squirrel in a...Um...I've got nothing.  He acted like a squirrel.  So Katie was allowed to go along to the bounce house while Jorge stayed home to do his job.  Or, more accurately, finish the first of his thrice-daily meltdowns.

So Katie, August, and I went to the bounce house.  We were literally the first people in the door, but within 20 minutes the place was swarmed.  I climbed around with the kids for awhile, then found a cozy place to sit and watch.  Katie was helping August and other little kids most of the time, although she did get sidetracked into sorting all the little balls out of the ball pits and into their correct corners.  My kid.

So they played and I watched, occasionally intervening to stop August from getting his toes run over or running over someone else's crawling kiddo.  Katie, again, mostly played with August or was doing her own little mama routine.

Our hour was nearly over and I thought "Maybe I'll take one quick picture" and fished out my phone which had  been in my purse the whole time.  In the next 90 seconds, as I tried to get my phone unlocked and the camera set to image instead of video, August cracked himself in the lip with a Tonka truck and started bleeding everywhere while Katie simultaneously bounced too close to a little kid and apparently upset another parent who immediately complained to the staff who swooped in to yell at both of us.  Fifty-seven minutes of model behavior and diligence, and we end up leaving as the bleeding screaming 2 year old and his big bully of a sister who, obviously, are the direct result of their neglectful mother who would rather pay attention to her phone than her children.

A little reading

I've been reading "Carry on Warrior" by Glennon Doyle Melton; the always articulate, insightful, and inspiring writer of Momastery.  I love her faith, courage, and humor.

One chapter of her book floored me last night and I found it on her blog today: This post, "One, Two, Three",  is exactly how I feel about parenting three.  I'm always amazed at how well other people can write these thoughts that are rattling around in my head.

Enjoy.  And maybe someday soon I'll get back to writing something more than grocery lists, menus, and itineraries.